I still have a really shitty headache, I’m pretty hungry, and I can’t stop biting my nails. BUT WE’RE STILL HORNY! To make things fair, we’ve been going clockwise so that each girl can get a chance to pick a hot topic. I’m very happy with this weeks selection, though a little sad that the man I wanted to pick had been picked before – by myself. Anyway, all you fine ass black musicians out there are about to get some love from the bitches – let’s make black & white shakes! (Asian and Spanish employees: mocha/cocoa shake and a…banana/cocoa shake…)



I can’t lie, I don’t much about this dude. I wish I could make some kind of witty intro commentary to Lisa’s quote, but I seriously got nothing. “ His voice alone makes me want to cum. I’m 100% in love with his voice and his sultry sound. Then he has this most appealing down to earth aura…makes me want to chill with him, go grocery shopping with him, and than play chess all night. =-(” Play chess all night? Like Austin Powers chess right?



Shit, I don’t know about D’Angelo either, slipping mad hard right now! Maru (or Marubling, as Moy likes to call her) had to put it down for me – “D’Angelo circa Voodoo (2000)...How Does it Feel? Well I bet it would've felt pretty damn good. That video...that VIDEO...well there are no words to describe how that video made women feel...He looked like he was having a good ole time too which made it even better. So sad that his life and career went down the drain. Out of all those "neo-soul" dudes, he was the only one who's sexuality was pretty clear”. That’s almost exactly how I feel about Michael Jackson in Thriller…



Wait, really? Arielle in a shocking turn of events (it’s hard to sound sarcastic without tone of voice sometimes) picked cracked out mess, ‘dis ya boy DMX, wooof!’ Didn’t he just get arrested in Miami for buying crack from an undercover or something? “Okay straight up, DMX is such a gangbanger unpredictable screw-loose mean tough boy; BUT, at the same time he has the most unreal soft side to him. He's got asthma and has asthma attacks backstage during his shows where he needs someone to rush his inhaler to him and also loves his dogs like they're his children. Like really? He's kind of just a little boy who desperately needs his woman to caress his bald head and turn that scary dog bark he does into a mere puppy whimper. ALSO I could see him really doing work on his woman and having like crazy sensual sex in satin sheets, not as rough as some people may think. I was once told by someone "you remind me of mother theresa, but only if mother theresa had the attitude of DMX". I have never heard a more dead-on description of my own personality and in hearing that it made me realize that DMX and I are basically kindred spirtis. DMX, I appreciate you”. That’s funny, I actually imagine sex with DMX to involve not being conscious and waking up with a sore ass covered in coke dust. I do listen to ‘Why Do Good Girls like Bad Guys’ on the regs though.



Okay, okay, okay, okay, wait…Jimmy Brooks is a rapper? The Jimmy I watched bloom from a premie to a wheel-chair clad basketball player on Degrassi? His name is Drake and I actually heard from numerous trustworthy sources that his music is good. Diana, please enlighten us – “ Ok I never pick dudes for the hotlist (mostly because there’s only one guy that I’m attracted to)

BUT

homeboy used to play a handicapped kid on Degrassi....nott annyymoreeeee!! I probably wouldn’t think he was hot if I didn’t like his music so much, either way, them other hoes aint never on it baby, you the fucking bestttttttt”. I stopped watching that show when Craig started doing blow.



My pop culture references are usually super on point but I must say, my knowledge of R&B dudes sucks. I’ve heard of John Legend before, I’ve heard his music before, and I’ve seen him before, but that’s it. He looks too nice, like he sings at church every Sunday. Jessica, this dude couldn’t handle you. “John fucking Legend. I've been obsessed since high school. Normally, I'm not into the super-smooth operators, but I honestly think dude could charm the pants off any non-deaf woman...probably deaf women too. His voice is an instant eargasm with looks to match. Who couldn't get down with getting down on top of his piano?” He does look like he could eat the corners out of a box though! (Dude it looks like he’s only into Asian chicks, sorry!)



Great minds think alike! Leah and myself both grew up on the Wu, and if there was no Method Man…well then who would have the method? I could probably watch How High every weekend and it wouldn’t get old. So, why Meth? “Cus his raspy sexy voice is dreamy like. His smile is like no other. He seems like the kind of guy you smoke a blunt and drink a 40 with. He makes you laugh your ass off and then puts it on you with candles lit and is very sensual and romantic. It’s all about that balance. I think hes got that going on for him”. Okay, you take him, I’ll take Redman.



Yeah, Nas & Kelis are no longer, I’m pretty bummed. Alas, he’s free to roam the plains and pounce, and Lourdes will now officially become pray. He’s got the ill baby face, and I’m sorry…but those lips…PURRRO! ‘The World is Yours’ & ‘NY State of Mind’ are like my favorite running songs.



Woah, I don’t know who this Plies kid is, but he looks pretty good to me. Like in a ‘go make me some money bitch’ kind of way. God, do girls ask for it or what? Christine loves thugs though, do you ma! “Plies baby! Something about that country slang just really hits it for me. He doesn't constantly scream "aye, aye, aye shawty" in your ear all day or come up with weird dances. No. Plies is hood, but grown and sexy at same time. 'His favorite panties are mine, the one that sees-through.' Ha! I'll be his bust it baby any day”. What’s a bust it baby?!



One of my favorite contributors to this list is intern extraordinaire, Erin. She sends the best replies and picks pretty awesome dudes. “Will Smith, of course. Perfect career, a real sense of style, lovable personality, and he's like a fine wine; just gets better and better with age. compare his goofy days as the Fresh Prince to the man he is now. All i can say is DAAAAAAAAAMMMNN! I also remember hearing an interview where he mentioned not believing in divorce; that every couple goes through hard times, and that love is about getting through it together and not giving up. And I think that's a really fuckin' awesome philosophy”. I love him too, he’s actually a really good actor in my opinion. I know ‘I Am Legend’ wasn’t a fucking Oscar winner, but shit man, I cried. YO HOLMES, SMELL YA LATER!



You see this man right here? Look at him, look at the smoothness of his skin, and his doe-like eyes, and the bouche…and the music…just everything. Mos Def, you can mos definitely get it from this one. You know all those corny references broads use to describe hot black guys, like sensual chocolate or smooth cocoa or some shit? I hate those, but this mother fucker is straight hot cocoa. I want to drink you. Not to mention he played the ‘Black delegation’ in Chappelle’s ‘racial draft’ and wiped his hand off on his blazer after shaking hands with the ‘white delegation’. “THERE IS A WHITE MAN SPEAKING. SILENCIO!” Slow and hard, slow and hard…