I'm a very moody girl, was since I was a kid and still am now. I was also very dramatic, I've thrown a few fits, and I loved slamming the door. I remember when puberty was beginning to set in, I'd get so fucking pissed sometimes that I'd run to my room, slam the door, and start breaking shit on the floor. Either that or I would make holes in the wall. I don't do that anymore, but the drama continues in my head. I've realized that I'm a person of extremes, like so many others. Go big or don't go at all. If I can't have one, I want none. Feel me?

So my Mom always told me to stop feeling sorry for myself, which in all honesty is what I was doing. And that's why it's just the absolutely most infuriating thing someone can say to you, because if you're acting out like that, it truly means that you just feel sorry for yourself. It's like getting called out for being a bitch, it's kind of embarrassing. Feeling sorry for yourself means that you're only thinking about yourself, and not feeling sorry for the problems of others. Then again, I was always told to mind my own business and not worry about what others are doing, so it's a bit confusing.

At the height (or low) of my eating disorder when I was in France at my Grandparent's, I looked to magazines to distract me from food. I did my scrap-booking thing, but I was honestly miserable. I felt extremely sorry for myself, but I thought it was justified. I spent a lot of time thinking about others as well, but then realized that I couldn't help them, only myself. I also felt sorry for myself because no one in my family knew what I was going through, eating disorders are more of a modern issue, they were too hungry to starve when my Grandma was a young girl. I tried to explain, but it eventually became tiring, and I still knew that they didn't know a thing. While cutting up pictures for my scrap book one day, I came across a saying in French, big bold letters. "MAIS LAISSEZ MOI ETRE TRISTE!" - please correct me if my French is wrong. It translates to "JUST LET ME BE SAD!", I must have looked at it for 3 minutes straight. I immediately taped it onto my scrap book, I still think about the phrase a lot.

Everyone is upset once in a while, it's our right as humans. The only reason we choose to display it so openly (ranting, raving, crying) is because we want you to feel sorry for us to. It's a cry for help, subconsciously - or not. I say fuck all that noise. Unless you're whining about losing a bag of coke or your best friend found out you're sleeping with her boyfriend. If you're going through a rough patch though, it's okay to ask the sky 'why me?' Chances are no one else is going to.