My flight was delayed about two hours due to 'clouds' on Friday, but I finally made it to Detroit. The plane ride was really bizarre, I always hope that someone half decent will set next to me but I didn't get very lucky in that department. Not that I like making friends on an airplane, Jesus, that's a horrible thought. But I like to be able to share an impatient sigh with the person to my right when there are 8 airplanes ahead of us on the runway. Instead I got some psychotic 30-something year old whose Dad was sitting in the seat in front of him, dude was wearing flip-flops (bummer # 1) and reading the same page of his newspaper for the duration of the flight. At one point I glanced over and he literally did some kind of in-seat spin so that I wouldn't be able to see his paper. What a dick nose. But I arrived, joint and homemade cookies waiting for me at the hands of the dillz.

I had planned on doing all this shit, like going out to a bunch of lakes and driving through Detroit to take flicks and peep the rawness, but I honestly fell in love with his parents home. Its absolutely beautiful, really big place with a pool and lots of land and woods and a barn. His family was adorable, as I expected. As soon as his two younger brothers - trouble - saw me, they began calling me 'the scary lady' and ran for the hills. Then they decided that 'you look like the girl from Twilight' and came to the conclusion that I was a vampire. So the first day, they hid behind doors and hissed at me. Yesterday they hid my sneakers when I was about to leave for the airport though, so they warmed up.

I don't really know what else to say, I'll share photos, even though I didn't even get to take as many as I wanted. It was one of those trips where everything is so overwhelming that you're not thinking 'I need to remember and document all of this'. Either way, I've decided that I wont be sharing any more stories with my relationship as the focal point. I don't want this to turn into some kind of Carrie & Big thing, feel me?



rum cocktail, Gabe, Carl





Lake Clark



Mom Dukes is a major fan of taxidermy





That pile of steaming shit, as well as several others, were thrown at me. It ended it up in my hair and basically all over the back of my jeans. Thanks!



Carl's friends...



Holy Fuck, the chocolate game in East Jackson is serious





Drive-Thru coffee. There's also drive-thru pawn shops...



That's an Elephant Ear, never had one before. We got them at the Jackson County Fair, where I was told I'd see Jackson's finest. It's a huge thing of fried dough dusted with sugar and cinnamon. Stretch marks, I welcome you.



Their Grandmother lives at the house with them, she was fucking hilarious, such a character. She kept telling us that she was nuttier than a fruit cake. This is one of her daily briefings that she gets everyday so she knows what's good with everything. I was honored to be on there.



Dude, that shit was like 7 feet long. We got that bad boy on Friday, before we hit the lake. I wasn't sure what eating that thing followed by acting a fool in the water would lead to, I imagined some kind of embarrassing bowel-movement. We tried to share it, but it wasn't easy. Wasting is bad though. If you ever feel you're too full to enjoy the rest of some delicious food, smoke a joint. That always helps you make the right choice.



Aw, isn't that nice?



I'm not a fan of cats, I feel like they plot against you. Have you ever been alone somewhere with just a cat in the room? When you look at them they just stare at you as if they're picturing your head on a spike. This bitch was cool though, so playful. She gave me a nice red beard of hives so I had to put an end to our playtime.



The fucking Goonies! Maru, I totally thought of you taking this photo. We kind of wanted to go see it, but there wasn't enough time...



He took me all around the city, these are houses located on the lake. His Mother grew up in this one, fucking retarded right?



I got pushed into this pool by tiny humans on multiple occasions.



My man can make some fucking ribs, that's all I can say about that. There was a rack left that he was gonna bbq for me yesterday for dinner before my flight, but the meat was bad. I told him I didn't want to eat ribs all by myself like a fat ass anyway, but he said he thought it was sexy as fuck to be grilling ribs just for me. Yes, I'm trying to make every chick who hates happy couples jealous.



I rode the skater. Haha.



The kids took me out to the barn to see their donkeys and goats, I think they imagined - like most - that since I'm from the city I'm scared of critters and mud and shit. I'm actually known by my family as the savage one, as a child I didn't like wearing clothes or brushing my hair. I still don't. I think both of them fell in love with me when I grabbed up this little snake that was slithering through the grass. Grabbed that fucker by his throat and dangled him above my sleeping boyfriend in front of his brothers. That's how you win the hearts of young boys.



Only in Michigan & Ohio!





The Dillz knows how much I love ice cream, so he took me to this spot in Jackson called 'the Parlour'. They have this thing on the menu called 'dare to be great' or some shit, it's like 21 scoops of ice cream. There were only a hand full of names up on the 'success' board. I got the topper parfait, it's like layers of hot fudge, nuts, marshmallow, and ice cream. My mouth had multiples.



If you want to know what being young and sickeningly in love looks like, come pay me a visit...