I haven't been following the Twilight saga, however I hear what goes on around me, so I have like green belt knowledge of sparkly vampires and skin that glows in the sun now. I heard that New Moon sucked ten marble dicks in a row, although I don't think any of the tweens on line were actually going to appreciate the art of good film. Everyone is making a buck off of this craze, from the toy industry, to sex toys, to food, and now even heroin dealers are hopping on board. If you ask me that makes the most sense anyway.

There's been some new 'artwork' circulating from LI into the city on the little packages of China, the words 'TWILIGHT' with above it some kind of shitty cartoon rendition of Edward. Poor kid already seems to have enough of a hard time dealing with the fact that he makes 12 year olds have orgasms, now he's part of people getting high too! The cops are saying that the packages most likely came from a city drug mill.

There honestly is no better way to get that real vampire look then to become a disgusting heroin junkie. Time for a new obsession America!