The door knocker trend is getting kind of crazed. Don't ya think? I guess the exploitation started when Patricia Field had those fucking (Carrie) bamboos made for Sarah Jessica Parker's ugly ass on Sex and the City. That was the worse, a true low point in their mainstream reemergence. Especially with Carrie being a thirty-something year old herb who lives on the Upper East Side and is from fucking Pennsylvania. Shit is just not right. Why? Well time to wax sentimental and evoke my nostalgic snobbery.

OK let's rewind to 1993-96. Oh what fucking good years (junior high for me). Lil' Kim's Hardcore came out, and SWV's “You're the One" how dope was that song? (They just performed at the Roxy last week but I didn't make it unfortunately), En Vouge, TLC, Mary J, Total, Monica, Salt N Peppa, Xscape, Aalliya. These were the females who my girls and I were listening to and loving, and we still do. My home girl Vanessa, who I grew up with in the same building since we were 3, went through a major Puerto Rican Pride-phase at around this time. She had a big influence on me. Vanessa had the black liner around her lips, her hair pulled back in a high ponytail so tight that my mom used to say she looked Chinese. She had MAD gold jewelry, giant bamboos included, and smoked blunts in the playground, drank 40's and blackberry brandy and her best friend (besides me) was named Latonia. I was right there with her minus the black lip liner. God I love the mid 90's! Guess jeans, Overalls with only one side hooked, Reebok 5911's aka The Princess, rugby's, Tommy Hilfiger, Polo. The list goes on.

Which brings me to my point, yes believe it or not there was some reason for this tirade. Bamboos are more than a fashion statement or “street cred" thing for me. And now I see mad girls on the street rocking doorknockers, fronts, names rings and all that good shit. And I'm not talking about bitches from East New York, LES, Upper West Side, Yonkers or Avenue U, that shit is expected.

I am talking about girls that grew up on fucking farms in Minnesota or mansions in Beverly Hills or some other suburban enclave. Yeah that may be a fucked up, self righteous, and an extremely local way of thinking about shit but fuck Rakim's…It ain't where you from, it's where you at. He was just saying that cause he was from Long Island.

But it gets worse, even masses of hipster bitches are wearing this shit. And that they just got put onto this like yesterday. What the fuck! That shit pisses me off because now I am being forced to put my bamboos in my jewelry box and lock it up. Ah the sacrifices us MOB girls make. I just see mad corny girls wearing them and it's making me see that in my world bamboos are now retardaire. (even though I'm sure they were long ago to many other people). It's a mother fucking wrap. Now I am rocking my canary studs. And I can pretty much say I don't think I will ever buy another piece of hood jewelry ever again. It's just not the same for me. And no I don't give a fuck what people think but it has gotten to the point where even I see a white bitch laced in name earrings and I want to throw up all over her. Harry Winston is waiting for me…..