This week I have been unleashing the beasts the consume our every day lives.....well at least mine! I am not one to normally have too much drama...but I’ve noticed as I go up in age the same bullshit antics remain the same. As though my inner teenager still lives deep inside of my soul....and believe it or not ,I know it’s my alter ego that feels the need to “break fly” when something comes floating around. Especially during the Pre-Summer months!!! Tis’ the season for cheating & all sorts of trifling behavior......and if you thought your 6 - month relationship wasn’t doomed....buckle up and strap up for some pre-summer war! BECAUSE THE HOES ARE DEFINITELY ON THE STROLL!! And if you so happen to have a large clique of girls around you...be prepared to get your scanning on! Throw on those 3-D Dior shades on and check your program....simply because your enemies could be smiling & throwing major shade in your direction....even when you are not looking! Trust....those who know me best - have come to terms with my abrasive behavior in regards to people in general! I don’t normally smile on command...and I don’t welcome everyone with open arms....and there is just cause! Last year, taught me enough to always have my guard up in the highest degree possible. I also know that ALL NYC TRI-STATE AREA HOE’S abide by the same ghetto handbook their own mothers used to cop a babies daddy...and it has been passed down from generation to generation. It’s not rocket science when it comes down to the art of manipulation.....and you would be surprised as to how easy it is to watch your boyfriend walk off into the NYC sunset with someone you might even know.

NYC TRI-STATE AREA GUIDE ON HOW TO COUNTERACT A BITCH- ASS HOE / HOME WRECKER ON THE PROWL:

1: HAVING A LARGE GROUP OF FEMALE FRIENDS: Can be good and bad at the same time! It can be good when the majority of them are indeed involved in long term relationships....even though at times that doesn’t mean shit! Having too many friends around makes it harder to get in tune with the idiosyncrasies that surround you! So try keeping a tight knit unit....it makes it much easier to weed out your enemies!

2: KEEPING TRACK OF THE PERSONALITIES AROUND YOU: This is a major factor that has killed a lot of peoples train of thought. And I am sure we have always heard it, “I would have never thought that she would do this to me”......mmmm hmmmm Neither did I - but when she was smiling too hard at your man....you should have paid closer attention! If you have a circle of friends please observe and jot down everyone’s pro’s & con’s......There is always one person in your cypher who feels the need to gain attention in every way possible...even if it's negative attention!

3: THE “YES” MAN: Now if you have someone that kisses your ass too much.....and says " yes" to everything you do - even if it’s wrong....GET RID OF THEM! No one needs that shit around....that is a potential Hazard that may lead to a serious ass beating in the near future!

4: SOCIAL INTERACTION WITH YOUR FRIENDS + THE SIGNIFICANT OTHER: On some real shit....this is major! I love to leave my boyfriend around my friends...Why??? because I have a trigger finger ready to lock and load on the shot gun that sits right next to my kicks stand! Oh you think I am joking.....why do you think that there are so many Wal-Mart stores across America? Did you really think it was to save on fabric softener? I think not!!! Let your friends commence in quality conversation with your boyfriend/husband and observe BOTH PARTIES body language! If she touches him too much - PAY ATTENTION! Hence the touching of the hands....hugging too long...smiling too much....these are clues man! Don’t react...keep the 3 strikes rule intact!

5: NEVER LET YOUR MAN DRIVE ANY OF YOUR LADY FRIENDS HOME: For example....if you have a gathering at your house...and your girlfriend is claiming that it is too late to go home. Tell that bitch to take a taxi....BUMP THAT SHIT! Give that bitch $20 and throw her out! If it’s not your trusted relative [which you may also have to scan for possible bullshit] - please show that bitch the front door! For real....

6: NEVER TALK ABOUT YOUR SEX LIFE - NO MATTER WHAT!!!: CLICK...CLACK...BOOM! The chapter that is so crazy...it will make your head spin! Now if your sex life with your man is off the hook....some hoes feel the itch - and want to test drive your prized possession! And if he is a good man he won’t settle for a sloppy joe when he already has a T-bone steak! Another given example is if you don’t know how to run your man some “knowledge” [head].....PLEASE AND I REPEAT DON’T SHARE THAT SHIT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIENDS! Number one....this is the key that will shut down your entire operation. Now we all know men love a treat once in a blue moon......please get to work on him before your friends do! Pop in a porn - tell him to lay back....and enjoy the ride! Once you have mastered the art of “knowledge” [head] - he won’t even blink twice on shucking his ass to the next bitch! Trust me....ghetto dirty-birds use this shit among other things to lure your man in! We all that we can share some of our deepest thoughts with friends....and YOU CAN’T ALWAYS TRUST FRIEND! I don’t care how long you’ve think that you have known them....at the end of the day people are stranger than we give them credit for. Every time you spill the beans about you & your relationship and how bad it is -you are giving a hoe clues on how to take your man or significant other.

7: THE SINGLE WHITE FEMALE THEORY: Applies to all races....that movie wasn’t made for no reason! Trust and believe that there will always be someone who looks to emulate your style....where they will even try their hardest to perfect it! For example shopping together at stores....keep note of someone who wants to purchase the same shit as you! Granted clothing and everything in between was created for a large mass of people...but shit...there does come a time where people should have their own personal style! So be very careful of a woman that does everything in similarity of what you do.

8: THE “ RED - EYE” TYPE: My WEST INDIAN folks know about this shit! Envy makes the world go round! There is always a shady bitch in your clique.....trust! She might not want your man...but she will go through him to get to you! Some women will never comment on the “beef” that they may have with you.....they usually commence to some subliminal bullshit!

9: THE OVERLY FLIRTATIOUS/OVERLY SWEET PERSONALITY TYPE: Now we all know a girl who walks around with her ass & tits on display! We might even know someone who is so sweet it doesn’t make sense. The ones who are WAY TOO SWEET OR WAY TOO FLIRTATIOUS are usually Satan’s spawn ready to unleash her bullshit in your direction. If she over compliments you or your man...BE WEARY!

10: THE “LEFT FIELD” SEXUAL COMMENTER: HA! Now there are some women who have a lot of nerve to just say some “left field” shit.....I have bared witness to this! Especially if you have confided in them - sometimes your friends have a way of making you look stupid in the presence of your boyfriend. And If you are wondering what my reaction was. - let me tell you it wasn’t a nice one. Especially, if you have a gullible man at that! Nip that shit in the bud from early! This follows suit in not sharing your sex life with your friends.....

11: 3 STRIKES AND BANG THE SHIT OUT OF HER: This has to be my personal favorite....I love to keep a list of shit in my head! So when It comes down to me slapping the living shit out of you....I have all reason to! Most women don’t abide by this simple rule......and I suggest that you start to as of this moment on! As the warm season arises...so does peoples set personalities! So please keep your list ready...and handy - so when you knock a bitch down...and she asks why - you can refer back to the things that she has done to betray your trust!

12: THE “GET RID OF HIM GIRL” TYPE: Now granted many of us may not listen to the “not talking to your friends” theory....simply because we need someone to talk to in regards to relationships. All women need a friend that we can talk to ....right? WRONG! Now we all have our moments when our relationships are on the rocks...this is the breaking point where you can be blind sighted to your potential frienemies bullshit. She may be charming....soothing to your needs! She might even say all the right words to make you feel better. But what she is thinking is something totally different! Your potential frienemy may love the fact that there is an opportunity to take your lover. So if she is too eager for you to dump your man....BE ADVISED!

13: THE “ALWAYS SINGLE” TYPE: Granted there are some women who are in search for the best man possible.....and there are some who feel that [your man] is the best man possible! Never and I mean NEVER keep too many single parties in your cypher....this can lead to potential jail time. And if you have kids in the mix....stand guard! NEVER HOOK YOUR SINGLE FRIEND UP WITH SOMEONE CLOSE TO YOU OR YOUR MAN! LET THAT BITCH GO ON FOOT PATROL BY HER DAMN SELF!!!

14: NEVER GIVE YOUR MANS PHONE NUMBER TO A BITCH: In case of an emergency....leave your man’s phone number ONLY WITH YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS! I don’t know how many times I have heard stories about women entrusting their friends with those golden 10-digits .....which leads to massive amounts of drama! NONE of your friends should posses your boyfriends digit’s...I DON’T CARE HOW CLOSE you may think your friendship is.....keep that to yourself!

15: THE “I AM MAD AT THE WORLD” TYPE: Synonymous with low-self esteem, pussy poppin’, and jive talking...this element should be banned from your realm! People who fit into this category should be placed in a box onto themselves.

16: THE “OH IS YOUR MAN DOING” TYPE: Now if a bitch asks you about your man - before asking how you are doing.....throw up that red flag! Ask yourself why in the living fuck does she want to know about your man before you!

17: THE “TRY-SEXUAL” TYPES: Which follows suit in [scroll back to #10 & # 1]....There are some women who might find both you and your man sexy. And would like to get their Heather Hunter on......if you know what I mean! We all have a friend who boasts about her sexual endeavors....and how she is such a freak...and gives you key points on how to trap that dick into your corner! Shit....this kind of bitch will even try to conjure up a scheme to have sex with both you and your man......PUT THE BREAKS ON A CHICK FAST! Isn’t this why Craigslist was created in the first place? Oh and if you thought it was just for picking up used furniture...please check yourself!

18: DON’T BRAG TOO MUCH ABOUT HOW GOOD YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS: If you are happy with your situation...kudos to you! I love to see love birds happy....but some folks HATE to the point where they will try damn hard to break your stride. These are the chicks who will go hard on 'pin pointing' flaws about you or your man......for real! Why? Because hoes of this caliber are always plotting! If someone asks you about your love life - keep it short! Just say everything is “Great” or “Wonderful”.....even if it's bad!

Well I could continue on...I might have a part two to this saga....until then - please let what I said marinate into your throbbing skulls....I’ll talk to you ladies soon - xoxoxoxo