Wait! Don’t call up your crew just yet....
Even though you might want to light a match on ‘ol girls’ weave!
Take a moment to relax your bunions.....and get loose with me for a just for a spell!
Today’s topic is one that may send some women’s blood pressure through the roof. Especially if you so happen to have a man who has already went ahead with starting a family. Along with the pre-packaged family comes the team leader in charge.....THE BABY’S MAMA! Now I hate to get into a topic that naturally comes with controversy.....YEAH RIGHT! Controversy is my middle name....simply because I loath the weak mentalities of some “Baby Mamas ” who abide by the ‘Ghetto’ rule of conduct! You might know what I am talking about ladies.....They come in all sizes and all flavors....extra fertile...pigeon toed...& obsessed with fucking up your relationship...simply because she is plain plum miserable! Oh...didn’t you know that is the trick that has worked throughout time? So what is a girl to do when she finds herself in a dose of that B.M.D [Baby Mama Drama]? She listens up...and listens well to combat the bullshit....let’s knock it out of the park on this one ladies!   

1.) YOUR BOYFRIEND/HUSBAND SHOULD LET THE B.M [BABY’S MOTHER] KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS: If you are new to this...please note that it is up to your man to first put in his ‘two cents” in regards to your relationship. He should introduce you [as his woman] to his former wifey! This shows that he does indeed have respect for you [as his woman] and for your current relationship. This also sets the foundation in letting his past wifey know that she has to deal with the current set - up. AND IT IS TO BE RESPECTED AT ALL TIMES!

2.) THE FEAR OF BEING REPLACED: Now what a lot of women don’t realize is that being a mother is a very serious job! And when dealing with a crazed baby’s mother....her angst towards you stems from the fear of being replaced! Especially if her child so happens to love you to death [as the potential step mother].....it’s only natural for the B.M. to be on guard at all times! So try to put yourself in her shoes...only for 2 seconds!  As long as you are not pile driving her kid into the ground....there is no need for the extra bullshit!

3.) HER WACK ASS PUSSY COULDN’T KEEP HIM: Now there are some [and I stress some] B.M.’s who use their vagina’s as Venus Fly Traps to keep a man. Working those pussy muscles hard...to bring a man to the fullest ecstasy will NOT keep a man around! Some women even go fourth in the pursuit of producing a seed in hopes of bringing a man closer to them. This rule of thumb has damaged the brain cells of some of today’s craziest B.M.’s - whereas after 9 children later....they have yet to realize that sooner or later...the option of tying up those tubes are a must! So as the new ‘dime piece’ on the scene...former wifey’s have a hard time of letting go. And no matter how hard they try.....misery loves added company....so be prepared to buckle up for the long ride of nonsense.

4.) B.M.’s NEED BULLSHIT REASONS TO CALL: Now when dealing with a man who so happens to have kids....be advised that phone calls of all sorts will be expected! Now let’s just say that the B.M. so happens to call your house phone....please remain calm...AT ALL TIMES! The slightest reaction to her call - strokes her ego to the fullest degree. Just hand your man the phone....and call it a night!

5.) WHATEVER SHE HAS TO SAY...SHOULD BE SAID IN FRONT OF BOTH YOU & YOUR MAN: Now this is a problem that has dug deep into the relationships of a lot of good folks. Whereas.....some B.M.’s will go through ‘hell & high water’ to get attention from their former partners.  Some B.M.’s will even make up excuses just to see how far your man will go on giving them attention. They [B.M’s] will even request “one on one” time with your man.....just to discuss matters regarding the children. Allow this process to commence....but in a neutral zone where YOU will be also attending! Your presence has a dominant factor.....which shows that you are NOT going any where...any time soon!  Just try your hardest NOT to pop off.....even if the B.M. is popping off at the mouth!

6.) NEVER LET YOUR MAN SEE THE B.M. AFTER MIDNIGHT: Oh you didn’t know that this bitch would plot & scheme....even after midnight? Oh yes ladies....B.M’s open up shop after the clock strikes at 12. How did you think she got all of those babies in the first place? She should have tried swallowing them....it would have saved you a lot of trouble & grief!  If the B.M. has the audacity of calling your man after midnight.....pick up the phone! If she asks for your man....tell her “he is sleeping”.  And if she is persistent...and continues on with her 'late night' nonsense....go into the next room and let ‘old girl’ know what time it is! Straight up.....with no chaser! The only time shall you lift this commandment is when the B.M. states that she is at the emergency room with the baby.....if not....proceed to the plan given!

7.) NEVER KNOCK A BITCH DOWN WHEN THE KIDS ARE AROUND: Now in the hood...I have seen my fair share of brawls and kick down matches outside of nail salons, chicken spots, beauty supply stores, & even outside of supermarkets. Now before you break fly on a B.M. - PLEASE AND I STRESS PLEASE....DO NOT FIGHT IN FRONT OF THE KIDS! Not only are you playing yourself....but you are putting the innocent in danger! If a B.M. wants to act like a straight bird on her own....let her....but a real bitch never fights dirty! She fights....THE RIGHT WAY! 

8.) LET THE CHICKENS PROCEED IN CLUCKING: Didn’t you realize that crazy B.M.’s only know how to talk mess? Sadly enough that is all they have.....much talk & nothing behind it! Why pump your energy into something that isn’t worth your time? Tell a bitch to “Watch TV” and not to keep clocking you! Intimidation is the key factor behind why so many B.M’s start their drama in the first place. Especially if she had a long term relationship with your man...and it didn’t go further then just “Boot Talk”...so please be “Grown Woman” about yours!

9.) IF THE KITCHEN IS TOO HOT - STAY YOUR ASS IN THE KITCHEN: Now this notion should be enforced...ONLY IF YOUR MAN IS WORTH THE DRAMA! If you have a man that takes VERY GOOD CARE OF YOU, don’t let parasites fuck up your 10 - course meal! It’s fairly basic!!!

Ladies, the rules are pretty simple when dealing with a crazed B.M. [Baby Mama]! Just remember that the strong work in silence....and there is no need to come down to a level that is beneath yours!